Why Are Homeschoolers Perceived as Socially Awkward?

By: Brian Kachejian
Date: August 11, 2023

The question of Why Are Homeschoolers Perceived as Socially Awkward is one that needs to be answered. One of the enduring stereotypes about homeschooling is the perception of its students as socially awkward personalities. But is this characterization accurate, and where does it come from? Depending on what side of the argument you are on may determine just how much you want the question answered. We will look at both academic journals and hands-on experience in answering this question.

The Perception of Social Awkwardness

Limited Social Interaction: The most cited reason for the perception that homeschoolers are socially awkward is the belief that they lack regular interactions with peers. Traditional schools provide daily opportunities for students to socialize, collaborate, and negotiate with others their age. In contrast, homeschoolers, due to their unique learning environment, may not have the same frequency of interaction, leading outsiders to believe they might be less adept at social skills.
Narrow Social Circle: Some believe that homeschooling inherently limits exposure to a diverse set of peers. Instead, homeschooled kids might primarily interact with family members or a select group of friends. This could, in theory, lead to limited socio-cultural exposure and an inability to relate to a broader group of people.
Parental Influence: It’s sometimes thought that homeschooling parents might be overly protective or seeking to shelter their children from certain social experiences. Critics argue that this could stunt their children’s social growth.

The Reality Behind the Stereotype

Broadened Social Experiences: Contrary to popular belief, many homeschoolers are engaged in a myriad of activities outside the home. From co-ops, sports teams, community service, and other extracurricular activities, they often have varied and rich social interactions. A study published in the Peabody Journal of Education in 2017 indicated that homeschooled students are often involved in eight social activities outside the home on a regular basis, challenging the notion of them as isolated.
Quality Over Quantity: The argument could be made that it’s not the quantity but the quality of social interactions that matter. Homeschoolers often engage in multi-age group interactions, allowing them to relate to both younger and older individuals. This can result in more mature interpersonal skills than their traditionally schooled counterparts.
Academic Pressure vs. Social Skills: One study from the Journal of Early Adolescence in 2013 showed that there might be some trade-off between academic pressure and social skills. In environments where academic rigor is emphasized, such as certain private schools, students might also be perceived as more socially awkward. It’s essential to differentiate between homeschooling as the cause or if the same could be observed in any high-pressure academic setting.
No Significant Difference: A comprehensive review from the Journal of College Admission in 2010 indicated that there’s no significant difference in the social skills of homeschooled versus traditionally schooled students. Furthermore, when homeschooled students went to college, they showed similar levels of participation in social and academic activities as their peers.

The perception of homeschooled students as socially awkward is multifaceted, rooted in limited understanding, and sometimes anecdotal evidence. While it’s undeniable that the homeschooling environment is different from traditional schooling, this doesn’t inherently make it deficient in fostering social skills. Of course, that’s all from an academic perspective and high-level research.

It’s also worth noting that social awkwardness isn’t confined to any particular group. Every educational environment will have individuals who are more introverted, shy, or socially unsure. Stereotyping a diverse group based on the behavior of a few is both unfair and inaccurate.

In the end, what’s clear is that social skills, like any other skills, are developed through experience and guidance. Whether in a traditional school or a living room, with the right opportunities and support, any student can thrive socially.

I am a teacher who has taught in both the public school classroom and in private homes. Not every kid who is homeschooled is done because the parents do not want their children in a public school setting. There are many kids who are homeschooled because of health reasons. Some are temporary and others are sadly permanent. I have seen the same distinctive personality of many kids that are exactly the same in both public school and home school settings. In the end, If a child is healthy enough to go to a public or private school, I believe that it is very important for them to develop the social skills and ability to interact with both friends and foe that they will need to guide them through their adult lives. With some exceptions, my own personal experience as a teacher with 30 years of experience is to send the kids to school. It’s tough to play in a school band, act in a play, join a school club, or play on a school team if you never leave the house.

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